Apology taken in all points.
I checked the video. Sadly, it was about him, but he did not speak there. I checked some of the other videos where he does speak. What should I say? He is a populist and from a technical standpoint - he is a good speaker. Good because his speaches rouse people from the chair - either because they agree or because they disagree. I have not been following the political development down under for quite a couple of years so I am not in a position to evaluate whether he is right or not about many things he says. As much as I am inclined to believe that his statements about women are more than just old fashioned, I also believe he has the right to speak his opinions just like anyone else. The fact that he is a PM means that there must be people who agree with him. However, I have also a reason to believe that what he says is a well calculated manipulative pose. He knows all to well that it is going to make you gals spinning in the air with fury. And when you do that you unwittingly play the game he wants so bursting out in outrage just plays to his cards.
My personal experience is that when you rule out 50% of the population, you are robbing yourself and everyone who is with you. Women are the spice of life - sometimes a bit hot, sometimes they make it taste bitter, other times sweet. Thanks god for that, because that means it is not dull. But I guess we are getting quite far from the original discussion. If you wish, we can continue it elsewhere as it may not interest the others here.
If it stopped at staring I'd understand. Hell, I know more than a few girls who genuinely like the attention. But when the staring turns into comments, gropings and assaults, I have a problem.
It's like putting merchandise in a window. Some people glance, others press their noses into the glass and look stupid, but no one should smash the window and hightail it with the goods.
What is the point of being attractive when there is noone to admire you and noone expressing his admiration for your attractiveness?
But seriously. I explained myself in greater detail in reply to Ruiku-Sama bellow.
Donīt get me wrong... I keep all obscenities purely to my thoughts.... and most often refrain from them all together since I dislike obscenities anyway. Though, I admit I do like to have a look or two!
But the way I see it is as follows - if you want to look attractive, then you also have to accept the fact, that you will be attractive to someone aaaand since every one is different, then the attraction is going to be expressed by many different ways.
If I were to draw a similar line it would be something like this: I like to engage in medieval swordfighting. This kind of hobby requires me to wear an awfull lot of heavy protecting gear. If I have it, it might be unconfortable, but it keeps me safe - but it is altogether my choice. It is up to me if I want to feel uncomfortable but safe or comfortable but dead.
What I am trying to say is that most things come with built-in side effects. Extravagant cars come with high price and attention of cops on the roads, lots of chocolate comes with lots of body fat and short skirts and skimpy outfits come with lots of attention from guys (wanted or not). It is all too easy to put the blame on the guys when really the main responsibility lies with the one who wears the clothes.
The topic of self-control is an interesting one. When a shoe store shows brand new shoes for everyone to see, it screams: "Come and get me!"
If a new car appears in autoshow, the only message it displays is: "Forget the old model and come and get me instead."
We live in a society, and economy, that relies on losing selfcontrol - we do not necessarily need a new car every couple of years, we do not need new shoes every couple of months... but if everyone used his or her things till they actually fall apart, then our economies (and society as we know it) would come to an untimely end.
So on one hand, we say that everyone should exercise full self-control, but one the other, we say that in some cases it is alright if you do not control yourself.
Blaming men for staring because the girl has a full right to wear whatever she wishes, is just as one-sided (and short-sighted) view as the one that says that rape victims were asking for it. BOTH sides influence the outcome of any interaction. Simple argument of: “this should not happen, it is all your fault” is just wrong.
So yes, I agree with you that everyone should exercise some self-control. Those who do not should be aware of possible consequences. Everyone can wear whatever he or she wishes – that is their right. Everybody else has a right to express their opinion about publicly worn clothes of that person too. Be it praise, be it critique, be it an expression of interest and attraction.
I will draw yet another example here. Law protects me wherever I go and whatever I do. Breaking the law is wrong. Period. There is no argument about that. Knowing I am protected I can do whatever I want and go wherever I wish because nothing can happen to me, right? WRONG! I am not going to walk through certain parts of the city in the middle of the night. I should be able to because the law still protects me. It is definitely a matter of self-control of those who would mug and rob me (and a matter of their choice of dis-respecting the law and my rights) and police will definitely try to investigate in the aftermath, but the main responsibility for my life and my wellbeing still lies with me alone. No one else. Not the system. Not the robbers. Not even the police.
Action always draws a reaction. If you hit me in the face, I will react to it. Even better, I will react to it even before you hit me – that is called “prevention”.
You have left out one very important aspect in your example story. Person 2 had to make a decision before she met person 1. She had to decide what to wear, where to go and what to do there. If she decided to wear skimpy clothes, fine, that is her right. She might have reasons for that. The built-in side effect of that is that people are going to react to it. Women might think she is a hooker. Guys might think that she is sexy. She may not realise it, but she is not going to communicate with others on purely rational level, she is going to communicate on the emotional level too. Emotions and rational thinking do not match well and emotions often override the rational. That is a sad fact which caused many people their lives (check what "killing under emotional stress" means). Person 1 on the other hand does not have the benefit of preparation and understanding the rationale behind her decision to wear whatever she wears. Person 1 is just facing a situation and, quite naturally, reacts to it. True, he or she also has rational thinking. He or she should react to it in an acceptable manner but people are not machines. What seems like illogical reaction to you migh make a perfect rational sense to them. That is why people talk to psychologists and not to engineers.
If I put myself in the situation it might be something like this: Rationally, I know I am going to attend a pyjamas party. So I get out of my house wearing my brand new pink pyjamas with small cute teddy bears. I love it, so I feel particularly proud of it. I get on the subway and suddenly I realise that people stare at me. One young girl even says to her boyfriend something about "nuts". An elderly lady frowns and obviously thinks that young people have no respect for others anymore. The last thing she wants to see is a man of 6 feet and 95 kg wearing pink pyjamas with lovely teddy bears. A group of school kids in the corner laugh openly looking at me. How do I feel? Bad. Very bad. What is wrong with those people! I have the right to wear whatever I want! I am dressed so what is their problem? I even have a rational reason for wearing my favourite pyjamas! They limit my rights by commenting on me! They invade my privacy! Oh no! They are wrong! NOT ME!
I hope you see the parallel here.
The bottom line is: do whatever you want but use your brain at the same time and stop blaming the others if they react to what you do and you just happen not to like their reaction. As long as they stay within the limits set by law they merely exercise their rights. If they do something illegal, protect yourself and know there is a system that should seek them out and punish them. But also know that the system is only going to punish something that should not have been done. It will not undo it.